Moments with Bella
May 27, 2008
So as I was being so spiritual in posting the lyrics to the song below right? Well, just now I was sitting on the couch with Bella and started to sing to myself that very song…again feeling like I was being very spiritual. However Bella’s response kind of ruined the moment for me…
Me…singing,or trying to. Bella…next to me on the couch.
Bella: Momma stop singing please.
Me: Why Bella? I like this song.
Bella: Your bweth is stinkin it up on da couch.
Me: Bella, don’t say that to me. It’s not nice to say that someone’s breath is stinky.
Bella: You needa bwush you teef Momma.
…
…
…
Me: Well..you still pee in your pants Bella.
That’s right folks, I am that mature.
Good Song…
May 27, 2008
Thought I would share the lyrics to this one for those who haven’t heard it…
Empty and Beautiful by Matt Maher
My past won’t stop haunting me
In this prison there’s a fight between who I am and who I used to be
But this thorn in my side is of grace
For because of it the flesh and blood of God was offered in my place
You fought the fight in me
You chased me down and finished the race
I was blind but now I see
Jesus you kept the faith in me
Where did my best friends go?
At my defense they disappeared just like your friends did to you oh Lord
But You were there, you gave me strength
So this little one might come to know the Glory of Your Name
You fought the fight in me
You chased me down and finished the race
I was blind but now I see
Jesus you kept the faith in me
Interpretations of Lyrics. Author: Bella Tilly
May 27, 2008
Well, Andy came through with the most amazing gift to our home. Hours of Craig’s list and a little but of a scary trip to meet a strange man at a storage unit on Garland Road later…Andy has brought music into our home! If you know me, then you know that this new addition has excited me more than just about anything in our new home so far. I Love Music.
I used to think that my mother was crazy for wanting to always have worship music playing throughout the house I grew up in. Yet as an adult living the call that Andy and I have chosen to live, now I can see what just that simple act can do in the environment of our home.
It so happens that Bella loves music does as well. However, due to her limited understanding of what the actual words that make up the lyrics of a song are, she has developed her own interpretation of a few of her favorites that she asks me to play throughout the day. As she hops, jumps, sways and twirls in circles until she inevitably runs into the fireplace or the TV, her tiny hands clapping or lifted high in the air, of course as her loving mother I am in awe of the innocence taking place in my living room in its purest form. However having the sense of humor that I do, I can’t help but laugh at the words that come out of her mouth as she tries to mimic the words of the song. Here is just a few of her originals:
“Hosanna in da high-chair” (Hosanna in the Highest)
“Hoeding is da door” (Holy is the Lord)
“Is awe because a Jesus I’m a die” (It’s all because of Jesus I’m alive)…umm we might need get this one straightened out soon.
“Jesus, u da my bess fwend, you da is a bee” (Jesus, you are my best friend, you will always be)
“Ebwy day is you I dig fo” (Everyday it’s You I live for)
And for her favorite non-worship song by Paul Simon…
“You can be my potty barn, I can be da losta towel” (You can be my bodyguard, I can be your long lost pal)
Yes, that’s our Bella.
My Favorite Afternoon
May 21, 2008
So our trip to NYC last weekend, other than making idiots of ourselves as I mentioned in my last post, was nothing short of amazing. We have been so beyond busy the last few months that time having Andy all to myself was awesome. We flew first class, ate great food, had the greatest hotel room, saw Blue Man Group (sat second row), did some shopping and enjoyed the life of The City That Never Sleeps. It was fantastic. But overall, my most favorite part of the trip has now become my most favorite afternoon that I have ever spent with my husband.
If you know Andy and I then it’s no secret that our lives are very, very full of many, many things. Andy decided a long time ago that he would maximize each and every opportunity thrown his way to make any impact he can on anyone that he can get his hands on. Marrying him, well this sort of became my lot in life as well but that was no surprise to me. If God has ever made anything crystal clear to me it was the day that He told me that my purpose in life was to bring Him glory and the way He was going to have me do that for the rest of my life was be sold out and dedicated to supporting and loving Andy Tilly and raising any crazy little ones that we may have to follow in their Daddy’s foot steps…headed to change the world around them. Even though I had no idea what the future would hold for me, make no mistake about it…I knew that this would not be a normal life with it’s challenges and sacrifices, nor would it be one that too many people get to have with it’s blessings and experiences. All of this is to say, time…real time with my husband is priceless to me. In fact, I don’t even know if priceless can even begin to describe how much I truly treasure any moments I can get where he is just all mine. No emails, no text messages, no talk about the latest book idea or project, no proof-reading our latest book to publish. Just me and Andy taking a walk.
It was after our incident in Central Park when we decided to head to Chelsea Market. I had been super excited to see this place being that above the market is the home of Food Network Studios. So the market was a bit of a disappointment and after I moped all the way through brunch Andy had the idea that we would see where we were on our $7.95 map of NYC (a whole different story) to see how far we would actually have to walk to get back to our hotel in lower Manhattan. It looked a good 3 miles away, but we decided to just walk until we got tired and then we would get a cab. Andy wanted to head to the harbor and then walk south from there. I agreed. As we walked through Greenwich Village it started to cloud up and get a little drizzly. Once we got to the harbor of the Hudson River we turned to the left and just started walking. We talked off and on about things not of any particular significance, which is quite rare for Andy to do. We laughed at some old stories that we hadn’t thought about in a long time. We enjoyed seeing this part of the city, out of the trendy tourist spots…this was just people living everyday life in Manhattan. The air was cool and full of a mix of smells from the stink of the city to the saltiness of the harbor. We came across the most interesting enclosed/outdoor sports complex full of little ones playing soccer at one end and stopped to watch a little league game at the other end. It was a truly amazing thing to stumble upon, you never would have even known it was there.
As we walked and laughed, I hung on Andy’s every word. It was just Em and Andy, in no hurry and with no point in what we were doing at all, and I was going to soak up every single second of it because this was the exact opposite of how our life together has played out so far. Lot’s of people get their time with my amazing husband, this was my turn. Next thing we knew, we had made it the entire way back to the hotel…it had to be at least 3 miles. But as we approached the entrance, even though it was starting to lightly rain again…we kept walking. We rounded the corner and headed to get a slice of authentic New York City pizza, one of my favorite things. Sitting in the drizzle on the steps of some corporate building we finished our pizza and I realized that our afternoon full of things of no particular importance was coming to an end. I looked to my husband, who bless his heart works harder than anyone that I know and thought to myself “Remember this day Emily, when you are frustrated that Andy walks around like a zombie after a 14 hour day. Remember the time he took just for you today when you want to get mad that he has to start a project in the middle of the night because he just can’t stop his wheels from spinning. Don’t forget about this afternoon when you have to go back home and share him with the world again.”
I know it may seem like nothing to most people, but this afternoon with Andy will be with me forever. It was just me and Andy, taking a walk. I had him all to myself and it was fantastic.
History Makers…or Not Really…
May 20, 2008
Location: Manhattan, NY- Central Park South Entrance
Time: 8:30 AM EST
Goal: Take a relaxing and romantic Sunday morning stroll through Central Park.
What We Expected to See: Runners, Joggers, Kids with parents, Women with strollers and a few random New Yorkers who would also be out to take a relaxing and romantic Sunday morning stroll through Central Park.
The series of events:
8:30 AM EST: Entered the park and soon found ourselves surrounded by a sea of people rushing towards the top road of the park. Odd? No but not what we expected.
8:35 AM EST: Found the path less traveled and headed deeper into the park.
8:40-8:55 AM EST: Took a relaxing and romantic Sunday morning stroll in Central Park.
9:00 AM EST: Alerted by the booming sound of voices and cheering over a loud PA system a few minutes from us.
9:01 AM EST: Andy had to check it out…maybe it was a church service??
9:10 AM EST: The crowd around us began to change. Hundreds of people were now in view. Lots of guys holding hands with guys, girls doing the same as well. People in matching shirts. Signs every now and then.
Thoughts for the moment: “Hmmm, this is a little odd. I am pretty sure this isn’t going to be a church service. But hey, it’s Manhattan so it’s not like this is too far out there for Manhattan right? I mean, none of this is too strange, like crazy strange. Let’s keep going and see what’s happening here.”
9:25 AM EST: Bruce Villanche (from Hollywood Squares) and Hal Sparks (from various TV shows such as I Love the 80’s) take the stage.
The Opening Line: “Let’s just take a minute to celebrate what has gone on recently with the advancements in the rights of Gay Marriage people!!!! Let’s also take a minute to be sad for those who settled for members of the opposite sex and hate it.”
Thoughts for the moment: “Ok, well…this might get a little awkward…but ok that’s a big issue throughout America for some people so I get it. I mean once again this is NYC right?”
9:35 AM EST: For the first time we actually begin to survey the area around us.
9:37 AM EST: A bright green sign reading “Condoms Save Lives.” Not too strange for me, I get that.
9:38 AM EST: A tall man (or woman) dressed in an outfit that resembled a large banana suit, which I later realized was indeed not a banana suit at all. Ok, this is getting a little odd.
9:40 AM EST: A bald man, wearing the slip of a wedding gown, with nipples drawn on his sleeveless t-shirt, sporting a pink stick-on beard on his chin, pushing a gold spray painted grocery cart loaded with trash bags and a small chihuahua who was dressed in a dog-sized clown outfit, all while keeping a parakeet perfectly balanced on the man’s head. Side Note: Andy seemed to think that the clown-suited dog was the only thing odd about this guy as he passed us…which I found kind of humorous and a little scary at the same time. Ok, this was getting weird.
9:45 AM EST: A glance past the same sex couples, the cross-dressing man with the bird on his head and the huge gospel choir (yep, they were there too) revealed literally thousands of people gathered in groups at the back of the clearing. When I say thousands, I mean thousands.
The realization of the morning begins to come from the stage:
“Welcome to all of you who have joined us today. (Crowd of thousands goes wild.) Thank you so much for being here to participate. This is one of the largest events in Manhattan and YOU are all a part of it.”
Me: Ok, participate…Ummm Andy I think it’s time to go.
Andy: Yes babe, let’s get out of here before we get run over. I think we are standing on the starting line for whatever this is. Huh, isn’t that odd?
9:50 AM EST: We head to exit the park. Happy for those who were walking for a good cause however I was feeling quite out of my element. That’s just the truth of it folks.
10:00 AM EST: We find ourselves being cheered for and clapped at as we are mistaken for 2 dedicated Walkers being that we chose to take the path out out of the park that was the actual route for the Walk. (In retrospect I think we need to pay more attention…I get that now.)
10:10 AM EST: Cheers in our direction turn to scowls and “you know where you can go buddy” looks as we actually, it needs to be admitted, wiggle past the barricade set to keep the route in place for the Walk and truck it out of the park.
10:15 AM EST: We noticed, for the first time signs up and down the streets of the city,
Sunday, May 18th 2008
Central Park, Manhattan
New York City Aids Walk
In one light: Andy and I were a part of one of the largest events in Manhattan and did something to make a statement for a good cause. We were a part of history!
In another: We were 2 people from the Bible Belt who even though believed in the cause, were admittedly out of our element and I had never been so nervous of getting slapped in the face by a man dressed from head to toe in the latest styles from the Gap.
Bella’s Boo-boo
May 13, 2008
Ok, so if you read my Mother’s Day post then you know that Bella suffered a slight chin scrape at my parent’s house while she and Channing were playing. Alright, maybe this screams that I need to leave the house more based on the fact that this is Bella’s first actual injury. As slight as it was, it has become the entire focus and reason for any conversation to take place between Bella and I since yesterday. Bella is obsessed. Case-in-point:
Me: Bella, What do you want for lunch?
Bella: Just don’t touch-a my boo-boo.
Me: Ok Bella, I am not going to touch your boo-boo. What do you want to eat?
Bella: Momma, I gotta da boo-boo and I just need sumfin to eat.
Me: Yes Bella, I know you are hungry. What do you want to eat?
Bella: I jus need no more boo-boo’s Mommy.
Me: Ok, you are getting Mac ‘n Cheese.
Bella: An nooooo boo-boo’s on da side.
Me: Ok, I will not put any boo-boo on the side.
or maybe this one
Bella: Mommay!! Mommay come here please!
Me: What is it Bella. Do you need something?
Bella: Don’t toucha my boo-boo ok?
Me: Bella I am not going to touch your boo-boo. Can I go back to work now?
Bella: Jus no boo-boo’s on da couch fo me ok?
Me: Ok Bella. I will be sure that I don’t have any boo-boo’s waiting on the couch for you.
So just now as I am trying to get her to nap and after 2 days of every other sentence consisting of some sort of plea to get me not to touch her boo-boo what happened? I go into her room and there is no longer a giant scab on Bella’s chin but yet an exposed, slimey scratch.
Me: Baby, where did your boo-boo go?
Bella: I ate it Mommy.
Nice.
Simple Things
May 12, 2008
Ok…I know Mom’s across America are ALL writing blog posts about Mother’s Day but oh well, this is my contribution.
Mother’s Day for me this year was perfect. After about 2 weeks of house guests in and out we sent the last one off on yesterday morning. It had been a GREAT time getting to have friends in our home, old and new however we were just about worn out. Side Note: Can I just say how much I love our house?? Andy if you read this…Thank you once again for my beautiful home.
So we were exhausted, however the simplest events of the day made it the most perfect Mother’s Day for me. Andy had already bought me some great kitchen stuff, including an awesome new knife…but not like a shank…it was for cooking. We sent Andy’s dear friend David on his way back to Oklahoma and then loaded up to head to the Denton Campus. Great service. Ran a few errands…which Andy and I never do together…hit Best Buy for another step in Andy’s quest for a cost-effective surround sound system for our home, had some Chipotle at my request where Bella infact sat quietly and ate her chips and guacamole and then headed home. The afternoon was spent with a new Elmo DVD about potty training mixed with intermitent dance breaks as Andy hooked up our new electronic addition to the living room. Bella took turns in and out of her bed refusing to nap but still being a little too sassy to be awake. Between her visits to bed she was successfull at doing her business in her potty which was a much needed victory for her and I both. Tried to put her down one last time before heading to my parents house for a quick dinner with the fam…discovered her totally naked in her bed an hour later…no nap. Headed to Mom and Dad’s where we had a great time. Our visit there ended with a slight boo-boo to Bella’s chin after having a meeting between her face and the brick floor, however it wasn’t too bad since 3 minutes later a small special bowl Beba (my mom) had was placed in Bella’s line of sight, full of ice cream the incident was long forgotten. Headed back home again.
Bella was in bed about an hour later sleeping soundly as Andy fed his latest fascination…Craig’s List. I sat and watched Dateline compliments of our DVR about the Comic Book Murder of 1990. Didn’t finish the show due to being “paged” from the front part of the house. Bella was covered in sweat, drenched and mumbling “no more night-night” but still not quite awake. I turned down the lights in the living room, just enough to keep her sleepy but still allow Andy to discover that he can indeed buy frequent flyer miles on Craig’s List. Bella sank into our couch, tightly snuggled up to my side, but totally taking up my spot. We relaxed. Bella never falls asleep anywhere besides a bed, unless she is sick. But this time she slowly nodded off next to me. As I sat and soaked up the sweet precious touch of my tired, sweaty little girl I thought about the day. What made it so great? Nothing imparticular at all. Simply the little things.
Not sitting at church by myself.
Having lunch where I wanted to eat and not having my child embarrass me in the process.
Sat through a DVD where the words Pee and Poo-Poo were used at least once in every sentance, but paid off with an afternoon of potty success in the Tilly House.
Watched my darling husband pretend he did not enjoy the sillyness of Bella’s random dance breaks as he toiled away to give me some music in my home once again. Somthing that I truly love.
Enjoyed a great meal and time with my amazing family.
Fixed a boo-boo.
Got some unexpected snuggle time with my precious little Bella.
Nodded off to sleep with my sweet Andy by my side after hanging on his every word while he ended our day together by thanking God for what a great wife I am…man I wish that were always true.
Not much to anyone else I am sure, but an unforgettable day to me.
Innocence…and a little more humiliation
May 9, 2008
So even though I vowed never to return to the Albertson’s on the loop in Denton after Bella’s last stunt there…it’s just so darn close that 2 days ago I ended up there once again. However I was holding my breath that Jeff from register 7 would not be there, of course he was indeed…he is always there. Why couldn’t Bella have picked the flaky, dirty girl who never seems to show up for work to humiliate me in front of rather than the employee with the best attendance of all time???!!
Anyway, so Bella and I are rushing through picking up just a few things. I figured what could she possibly do in 20 minutes at 8:00 in the morning…I now know that I grossly underestimate my daughter’s ability to make every situation the most time efficient as possible to accomplish her goals. (Sounds like her Daddy to me…)
Headed to the produce section to pick up a few bags of salad (horribly over priced by the way and if I ever get ecoli…I am gonna be ticked) Bella does a double take at a large man standing at the tomato and avocado section. Nothing abnormal right? Sure, if you are not a 2 year old with a big mouth. There was nothing strange about the man to me as I see people with dark skin, light skin, yellow skin all the time. However not only was this the darkest (I mean DARK) black man that I had ever seen, he also had a huge bushy black beard and a head of bushy black hair to match. All I thought as we passed him was “Man, I bet he gets pretty hot in the summer time with all of that hair and beard.” Bella on the other hand had eyes about to pop out of her head in silent awe until she suddenly blurted out
“Mommy, DERE SA BEAR IN DA GWOSHWY STORE!!”
I don’t think that I can accurately describe the level of humiliation that I felt at that very moment. Yet it was about to get worse…
I said in a hushed voice directly in her tiny little face “Bella, Look at me right now. Do NOT say that again. That is a not a bear”.
Bless her heart, just like when she spots a bug on the back porch and I can’t see it…she was ready to try her hardest to get Mommy to see that there was indeed a bear in the grocery store.
“No, right dere Mommy! I see it! It’s a bear in da gwoshwy store!!”
Her eyes were huge with excitement and fear. I on the other hand felt such an intense shade of red all over my entire body that I feared I was going to ignite right there on the spot. This was worse than the tooting incident. Worse that the Dr’s office asking everyone as they came out of the bathroom if they had pooped or not. Worse than her pulling 1/2 of my boob out of my shirt in front of about 20 people after Andy had just finished speaking. Even worse than the day I started my…girly monthly visitor and our school secretary who was a little hard of hearing marched from classroom to classroom, each one full of my peers, announcing that “Emily Kuykendall is out here in the hallway and she needs a Kotex.”
This was worse than all of that. I was so nervous that she had offended this guy and here I was with the racist 2 year old! However, the truth of the matter was that this was nothing but innocence at its finest. Bella sees people with different skin than hers all of time and it has never even crossed her mind to think of that as strange. But this guy…not to be rude, really did resemble slightly to me and for sure to the 2 year old mind a bushy, hairy, dark bear ready to make some guacamole.
To end the story, this guy (thank the Lord!!) actually got quite a kick out of Bella’s analyzing him and in fact turned to her with a huge grin and gave her a little growl. All I can figure is this was not the first time that this had ever happened to him. Nonetheless I was still so embarrassed and high-tailed it to the check out for fear of what she might say next. I was just waiting for someone in a wheel chair to come around the corner and have Bella need to give her 2 cents about them as well…again in innocence, but geez kid!
As we get in the car, I am still reeling from the entire incident what does Bella have to say about the recent turn of events?
“Does bears eat tomatoes Mommy?”
“I don’t know Bella…I bet they probably do.”
“I tink dey do Mommy. I tink dey do.”
The Joys of Parenting Part 1
May 4, 2008
So if you have read my other stories about Bella then you know by now that she happens to have picked up the English language in a way that has honestly amazed me. My sweet little girl, so an assuming with those big brown eyes and her wispy hair (which yes, I am aware is slightly beginning to resemble a tiny mullet). I know that I am not just saying this as her mom, Bella can seriously put together complete thoughts and sentences better than any other kid her age I have ever met. My Mom (awesome woman by the way and if you don’t know her, you are missing out) any way my Mom brought it to my attention the other day that when I was a kid my teachers would always comment on my use of big words. So I guess it’s kind of similar to Bella’s knack for speech. She also seems to have inherited her Momma’s creative childhood imagination when it comes to thinking quick on her feet. When I was in pre-school I sat at the lunch table with a single chip in my lunchbox. To avoid getting in trouble for the fact that I had already snuck off and ate my lunch, when the teacher asked me where my lunch was I told her that my parents lock me up under the stairs and that they do not let me eat. We didn’t even have any stairs. According to my Aunt I also felt the need to add that this abuse was the reason that I was such a small child. So I can see where she gets it.
There is a certain delicate beauty to the combination of these 2 things. Having a child who can speak extremely well who also has a pretty good imagination can be entertaining and humiliating at the same time. Case-in-point: We are in Albertson’s picking up the stuff to cook lunch for Andy’s youth and kids teams. As it becomes our turn the young man, Jeff, at the register smiles and gives Bella a little wave. She pretends to be shy of course (the act begins). Once he stopped paying attention to her she decided that she needed just a little more from him.
My Little Watcher
May 4, 2008
Bella is a watcher. She can get pretty shy and has a habit of being quite cautious of who she chooses to interact with. She has absolutely no problem letting you know if you are a little too close to her boundary line. Ever since she was a baby, she has had a very specific process of selection when it comes to new people. She studies situations rather than rushing into any decisions. But once you are in with Bella, good luck getting rid of her.
She has started to pick up on things much quicker than I am probably prepared for. I had her with me last Wednesday when we went to the United Baptism Bash. Bella thinks its just about the coolest thing ever to see her Daddy up on the huge screens. She loves the lights and definitely the music. We were standing in the back to avoid her from trying to rush the stage to get to Andy. One of my favorite worship songs started to play and I was so thrilled to hear it. In the moment I had my eyes closed and one hand in the air. I figured she wouldn’t wander too far from me while my eyes were closed being that she is a pretty cautious kid. Next thing I know I felt the gentle touch of a tiny hand wisp across my knee. I looked down and there was Bella, one hand in the air and the other covering her eyes…kind of. Once she saw me looking down to her, it was time for her to show me how good she was at singing just like Mommy was. She started to sway side to side, waiving her little hand in the air and for the final touch she began to move her mouth as if she knew the words to the song. It was such a classic moment. She was so serious.
There are so many things I am sure throughout her life that she will see me do wrong. There are so many things that I can’t even fathom being able to teach her. I fear for the day when Bella wants help with her homework…I hardly even showed up for high school!! (Proud times for my parents I am sure…) I am the first to admit that I have absolutely no clue how to raise a child, especially such a strong-willed, little too smart for her own good, sassy child. But watching her mimic me with such intensity and hope that I would be proud of her made me realize that even if I don’t know how to teach her all of the big things that life will being her way, maybe the small, simple things that I can show her are just as important. Maybe I can do this afterall…
