The Events of Friday August 29th, 2008
August 30, 2008
Andy took Bella swimming. Check
Had a brainstorming session for new food ideas. Check
Watched Bella and Andy play soccer in the backyard. Check
Planned out some new sandwich ideas for Texas Meats. Check
Enjoyed a nice steak dinner. Check
Accidentally hacked my wedding ring into a twisted, gnarled, diamond-less mass in the garbage disposal. Check
Woke up with puffy eyes the next morning. Check…Check.
The Perfect Fit
August 29, 2008
Andy and I are like everyone else who is married. We have had knock down drag out fights disagreements throughout the short course of our 4 year marriage. Sometimes they can be put to rest quickly, others have taken years to recover from. If you know Andy and I then I think you can say that we sometimes can be a tad bit on the sarcastic side. Alright, that’s a lie. We are really, really that way. Like a lot. Of course there have been times when it has had no right place in the conversation. But with us, if we can laugh through it then it seems to make it easier to get through. Example: When I was in labor with Bella…and had been in labor with Bella on our couch for 7 hrs…and my contractions were 1 minute apart…and Andy decided that we needed to stop by the gas station to get some snacks for himself on the way to the hospital…and I told him that if I had the baby in the car I refused to name it Tahoe…and that if I didn’t have my hands white-knuckled clinching around the handle bar on the dashboard that I would open hand slap him in the face…
I was a little mad at the time. Andy was laughing. I can still remember him telling me how funny I was. Looking back, I guess I was pretty funny. I like that story now. It makes me remember how great we can be together.
With our last time that we got really pissed at each other had an adult discussion, the next morning showed me once again just how right we are for each other. It was in the wee hours of the morning (aka 8:30…yes that is early for me and yes, I am already looking into hiring a personal driver when Bella actually has to start school). Andy rolled over in bed and put his arm around me…
Me: I don’t want to talk to you.
Andy: You don’t have to, you just have to love me.
Me: I can do that.
Andy: And I can forgive you for being wrong all the time.
Me: I suppose I will continue to allow you to take advantage of the kind, giving, loving spirit that I have.
Andy: And I suppose that I will continue to allow you to live in my house.
Me: Done.
I don’t know anyone else who would consider that to be a solid, complete, happy ending to an evening of bickering and fighting. But for us, it just fits.
Yep, that’s about right
August 27, 2008
This was awesome…
So yesterday all day long Bella was so excited to have Andy come home so she could tell him all about her day. We had read books, had an impromptu dance party in the living room, spent 3 hrs. at the swimming pool (which might I add is an oasis in the dessert for myself and the old ladies of the neighborhood now that the kids are all back in school) and even colored a special picture just for Andy.
He walks in the door sweaty from the gym and after a hard days work. Bella patiently waits for him to emerge clean and with arms open ready to snatch her up and hear all about the days events. They do their hugs and kisses and then Andy takes his place on the couch ready to settle in and hear the story that has been rehearsed carefully and precisely for the last hour and a half.
Bella wearing only her Pull-Up takes her place on her pink step stool placed directly in Andy’s line of sight to be sure she has every single shred of his attention.
I say to her “Ok Bella, what did you want to tell Daddy about your day?”
She takes a deep breath.
Smiles.
And then she rips a giant fart.
Steps down from the stool.
Laughs at herself.
And finally states that her “toot” was the only thing she wanted to say.
Is that about par for the course? Yes, yes it is.
Pwoud
August 26, 2008
Last week I noticed that on Elmo’s Potty (a DVD staple in the Tilly house) that there is like a 5 minute segment on the concept of being proud. Although yes, it is in a context surrounded by words such as pee-pee and poo-poo, the idea is communicated brilliantly. It not only explains about being proud of yourself for doing something but also what it means to have someone be proud of you. So after I saw this I decided to try out this concept with Bella. I started telling her that Andy and I are proud of her at least 10 times a day. When she uses her potty, but also when she has an accident. When she figures out a puzzle, but also when she comes out of time-out. Last night she finally got it and it was an awesome little pearl of a moment.
The Scene: Bella had just successfully “used” her potty in a very big, very stinky way.
Me: Bella! I am so proud of you!
Her eyes locked on mine as wide as they would be.
Bella: You PWOUD uf me Momma!!
Me: Yes Bella, I am so proud of you. You are so big!
Bella: I’M SO BIG MOMMA!!
With her little hands high in the air she runs in to Andy on the couch.
Bella: Daddy! Momma is PWOUD uf me!
Andy: What did you do in your toilet Bella?
Bella: I pooped in it Dad! An Momma is PWOUD uf me!
Andy: I am proud of you too Bella.
She froze. Her little face that I thought couldn’t get any happier was suddenly beaming.
Bella: You PWOUD uf me TOO DADDY!!! Momma, Daddy is PWOUD uf me too!! I’m so big guys!!
She runs from the room and for the next 5 minutes she would return with some sort of news that she would announce from the edge of the living room. Then she would wait with excited anticipation for one of us to say that we were once again proud of her. It was pretty cool to see her be so encouraged and to take so much heart in hearing her parents tell her something so simple. It really hit home with me at bed time.
As I am laying my darling baby in her bed she says to me…
Bella: Momma, you so pwoud uf me.
Me: Yes baby, I am so proud of you.
Bella: Oh Momma, can I hug you?
Me: Of course baby, come here.
As I lean over her bed-rail, she wraps her little hands around my neck. When I start to lean back up, she takes her tiny hands and puts them on my face. Looking into my eyes she says…
Bella: Momma, I love you weely much. An Daddy is weely pwoud uf me too.
Me: I love you so much Bella. And yes, Daddy is really proud of you.
She fell asleep with a peaceful contentment. It was almost tangible the way that those simple words had affected her little world. It was awesome.
Hmmmm. That’s a little scary.
August 20, 2008
I was sitting with my brother-in-law Matt a few weeks ago talking about our children when he asked me a question that really got me thinking. He has Lauren who is 4 1/2 and Grant (or The General aka G-Love as I like to call him) who is almost 2. BTW G-Man happens to be the most solid mass of a kid I have ever seen. Anyway, we were talking about the girls and how they are so different from boys. One way is how they remember everything. Yes men readers out there…that knack that your wife has for an instant recall back to the time 10 years ago when you didn’t take the trash to the curb on time and it sat there stinky for the entire week…that gift began at birth my friend. At birth.
So Matt asked me when is my very first memory. I sat and thought for a few seconds and my answer after thinking about it made me a little nervous being that I am now a parent and dare I say not the most skilled one at that.
I was 3. 3 Years old folks.
Now sure, do I remember everything from when I was 3? No. But I remember the house we lived in. I remember peeing on my Mom’s bed and hiding in the neighbor’s bushes until she called the police. I remember getting the chicken pox and having to miss Caleb’s school play when he was going to dance and sing to “Mister Wind is a Mischief”. I remember there was a small corner floor cabinet with a top opening hatch that Caleb used to con me into hiding in and then close the top and sit on top of it. I remember hiding behind the couch with safety scissors and letting him cut my hair only to be busted by standing up and knocking my mother’s favorite lamp into the floor…broken of course.
That being said…ummm….yea I am a little nervous. Why? Well my kid is smart. Too smart. It makes me think of that Everybody Loves Raymond episode when one of the boys writes a book in kindegarten called The Angry Family. Bella’s would be called The Reason Mom Classes Should be Mandatory or better yet Top 10 Times My Mother did Something Stupid.
Wow. I can’t even imagine the stories she will have in 25 years. Hopefully I won’t mess her up too bad. Knowing her, I think she can roll with the punches. Life in this family is different. I think she can get that. Our little free spirit.
Excuse Me?
August 19, 2008
So on the lower part of Bella’s tiny bottom/upper back thighs lie 2 massive mosquito bites. One on each leg. She is at the point in her mental development where she is aware that something such as these bites from the Hell Mosquitoes of Texas itch and need to be scratched. Rather than it being an unconscious gesture, she is now fully engrossed in the process. She has also now learned that the more you scratch a mosquito bite, the more it itches. Out of sheer frustration yesterday afternoon, she came to me because Momma can fix anything.
Bella: Momma, I need you.
Me: What is it Bella?
Bella: I need you to scwatch me Momma.
Me: Bella, leave it alone and it will stop itching.
Bella: No I need you to do it fo me.
Me: Bella, I am not going to scratch on your bottom for you. Just leave it alone.
Bella: But Momma, IT IGGIS AN I NEED YOU TO SCWACH IT FO ME!!!!
Me: Why do you need me to do it for you Bella?
Bella: Because dat’s what you do.
Me: Oh, so now I am just a butt scratcher huh?
Bella: Yes. So get ober hewe wite now an scwach my booty.
…
…
…
Bella: I said wite now Momma.
Wow.
My List (Inspired by Andrea Schmid/No Great Thing)
August 18, 2008
Ok, so I just read a post by sweet, pregnant, previously displaced, darling Andrea Schmid on her blog which is one that I just love to read. The post was about living in the joys and hopes of today in and of itself. Great post called Right Now. She inspired me to make a list of things that I love, enjoy, appreciate and honor right now…today…just where I am. I would like to think that I am someone who doesn’t need a whole lot to make me thankful, yet I would be lying if I said that I don’t ever take what I have been given for granted. That’s just simply not true. Here we go…
Right now, 4 ft. in front of me on the floor is my daughter who thinks I am the greatest Mom ever for giving her a bowl of frozen juice and fruit that I blended up yesterday. She has mastered chipping away at the frozen mass with a big girl spoon because she s getting smarter by the minute. Better yet, she just told me she needed to pee-pee and I was met with a perfectly dry Pull-up and a perfectly full training potty. She is so content, so happy, so dry and life is good. She is growing, learning and changing at this very second. Every heart beat in her tiny chest and every breath in and out of her lungs is a sweet, precious gift. She has hopes for her snuggle time with Daddy on the floor in front of our bed and cannot wait for him to walk in the door. She looks at me with those big brown eyes that know she is loved, she is beautiful, she is smart and she can do anything she sets her mind to do.
My day began with seeing my husband rise from bed long before he was ready to get up, to go work hard at a job where lives are challenged and changed. Only to end his 10+ hr. day with a workout at the gym so that he can stay healthy and able to take care of us for very, very long time. I sit here on our awesome couch, in our amazing home knowing that I am loved, honored, needed and appreciated by a man who I truly, truly admire. Our lack of perfection in life that keeps us full of the need for God’s unending grace is a unique and real connection that he and I share. We are so far from perfect, but at least we are there together, doing the best we can with all we have been given.
I see the rain drizzling on our parched backyard that is twice the size of our very first home (which doesn’t say a lot if you could have seen the size of that place). I look out onto a back porch that holds great significance to me. There have been hours of laughter as well as hours of tears on that back porch. God has shown up in that backyard more than once, sometimes for us and sometimes for others. In just a little while, when our crazy little woman is snuggled under her pink blankie in her bed, that porch will be filled with music and irreplaceable time spent with my husband learning more and more about life and each other.
Where I sit now is in the middle of a home where God has made it clear in so many ways over the last year that He is God. That has come in painful ways as well as moments of pure joy. I am a different person than I was the first time I sat on this couch as it arrived brand new in our unpacked home just 13 1/2 months ago. Yet today, with all of the ups and downs we have had in this home, I sit here as someone who knows there are many things I do not know however sure of 1 thing. God is God. Even when it hurts and even when it is inexplicably amazing. There have been times on this very couch when God being God was not very fun. In fact it really, really hurt and it was really, really hard and parts of it just sucked. But He knows better than I do and it is what it is. At the end of it all, He loves me more than I could ever begin to imagine and He knows what I need more than I do. Today I sit inside of a home that I love knowing that God is God and that is more than good enough for me.
So I take from today these things that I know to be true and those that are precious gifts. Nothing major may happen today. Just more laundry and dishes. However when I stop and think about it I can see that today is amazing in more ways than I can count. At the end of it, today will come and go. However I don’t ever want to forget that the true gift is that today even happened at all. Thanks Andrea, I needed that.
Moments with Bella…
August 14, 2008
Bella has hit the developmental stage where she will rattle on and on for minutes at a time. The usual progression begins at a practical place however then carries onto a few random thoughts and then ends in often an interesting place. Example: I was on the phone with Jenn Ferguson this morning and Bella kept wanting to talk to her. When I hung up the following took place.
Me: Bella, what is your deal girl? When I am on the phone you gotta give me some space ok?
Bella hangs her head low and closes her eyes. Yes, I felt bad…she has feelings now and I am still adjusting.
Me: Oh Bella. Are you sad?
She nods her low drooping little head.
Me: Bella, you want to tell me why you are so sad?
She nods her head once again and then the story begins…
Bella: I wanned to talk Momma…an an you said No to me…an an…den I was sad…an den I was cwyin…an you said stop it to me.
Me: Bella, you were not crying and I did not tell you to stop it. I just needed you to be quiet while I was on the phone.
Bella: But, but I wanned to talk on da phone to yo fwiend an you said no to me…and den I was cawing fo Daddy and den you said heez at wook…and I cawed heem some mowe and den he was in Mexico.
Me: Oh, Daddy is in Mexico now is he?
Bella: Yes. Daddys in Mexcio wit MiMi an Pa an heez fwiends…an dey awe eating snacks…and dancing…and I den I said I needa bwa.
Me: So Daddy is dancing and eating snacks in Mexico with MiMi and Pa and his friends and you need what?
Bella: A bwa Momma. I needa bwa.
Me: A ball?
Bella: No Momma, I needa a bwa fo my boobies.
Of course I am trying really hard not to laugh at her because she is so serious and again, the whole feelings thing.
Me: You need a bra Bella?
Bella: Yes, an Daddy wans one too fo heez boobies.
Me: Bella I do not think that Daddy needs a bra. And I do not think that you need one just yet.
Bella: But, but I wan one.
Me: Well Bella, you don’t need to worry about that until later.
At this point Bella looks down inside of her shirt for a few seconds. As she stares at her bare little chest, her final thought for this session of convorsation emerges from her innocent little brain.
Bella: Is my boobies in Mexico Momma an I can haf dem layder…when Daddy says I can have snacks… an boobies…fwom Mexico?
Me: Bella, we can talk about your boobies another day. Daddy is just at work and he will be here soon ok?
She pops her little head out of her shirt and looks at me with those big brown eyes.
Bella: Ok Momma…you an Daddy love me weely much.
Me: Yes we do Bella. Really, really much.
Bella: Ok. Can I put a booga in yo wader cup Momma?
Me: No Bella, please do not put a booger in my water cup.
Bella: Awewite.
Choices
August 13, 2008
With me, when I have to make a hard choice the term “Sucks” is most commonly used. I have a pretty crappy attitude when I have to deal with the nitty-gritty soul searching that comes with making a tough decision. I just don’t like it.
Last night I had to make a really hard decision. Today I know I made the right one. But I did not in any way, shape, form or stretch of the imagination enjoy any single shred of the process. The extreme puffiness of my eyes today is a good sign of the battle between “Me and The” (as my husband so amazingly put it at Crosstimbers 2 weekends ago) that I had going on in our living room last night. I had an opportunity to take a job where I would have had a chance to see if I could make it at becoming The Best at something that I have wanted to do since I was a kid. However, at the end of my 7 hrs. of questioning, doubting and weighing pro-and cons I decided that I am still in a season where I need to be working on being My Best for my husband, my daughter and for myself.
Today, I know I made the right choice. I feel good, yet I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t disappointed that it wasn’t going to happen for me this time around. But you know what is great about making a really hard choice? It’s the fact that we even have the opportunity and freedom in life of choice itself. I know I have done what is wise for this season in my life and in my marriage. I also know that God did give me the dream, the talent and the vision that I have inside of me that will one day meet with the perfect opportunity and I will get to live it. Until then, I am good. I am happy. I am content. I am going to choose to learn. I am going to choose to laugh. I am going to choose to love. I am going to choose to live today as today and await all of the tomorrows to come with excitement and anticipation.
And Scene…
Oh, we are at that age now huh?
August 11, 2008
Saturday Andy took me, Bella and Andy’s oldest brother Matt to Fuzzy Tacos. The booth we sat in was closest to the door. It also happened to be about 2 1/2 feet away from a set of benches where people waiting for a to-go order or for a free table sit as they wait. As we sat and ate Bella was at the end of the table in a high chair. Suddenly something caught her attention. There was a man, probably about 35 sitting on the bench by the door, again only 2 1/2 feet away from us, waiting for his to-go order to be ready. Innocent By-Stander is what we will call him. After her staring this guy down for about 5 minutes…and yes it was awkward…I finally said quietly,
Me: Hey Bella why don’t you look at something else.
Bella: No Momma, I am jus looking at heem.
Me: Bella, why don’t you talk to Uncle Matt.
Bella: No Momma, I just want to look at dat ober dayer.
Me: (In an effort to make this guy think we were not talking about him) Oh, that fish on the wall? Ok.
Of course at that point I thought she would look at the fish and get distracted. But nope.
Bella: No Momma, not da fish. I jus lookin at dat man ober dayer.
Me: Ok Bella, well be quiet please.
Bella: No Momma, heez sad.
Now it is at the point where this is really getting awkward. He knows we are talking about him and it is fixing to get worse at any minute.
Me: Oh, the fish is sad Bella? Ok, well let’s just not talk about it.
Bella…at the top of her lungs as she points directly at this guy…again 2 1/2 feet away from us: No MOM. Dat man wite dayer is sad.
Me: Ok Bella, thats enough. I don’t think he is sad Bella. Is your quesadilla good?
Bella: No Momma, heez sad. Look at heem.
Me: Bella, that’s not nice to stare. Now just eat.
Now there is a pause. She glances back and forth at him a few times but is trying hard to make sure I don’t catch her. This poor guy is looking anywhere he can to escape this situation. Next…
They make eye contact.
Bella: Hey, why you sad man?
Innocent By-Stander…looks away.
Bella: Hey you man, you look heew…why you so sad man?
I froze.
He gets up and walks off directly to the counter to demand his food and proceeds to truck it out the door.
Uncle Matt had seen the whole thing go down and we then proceeded to absolutely loose it. I had to admit, it was funny.
